The Good Life

Ahh its Easter and oh how the year has flown by already. And because of this, I feel time is running out and I need to kick myself into gear. I need to start living and hear the ticks and tocks like a beat.

I don't mean going gung ho into everything and be a mad woman, I mean living a life of quality. I want to try different things and have new experiences, be open and daring but still respect my mind and soul, I want to value my friends and family properly and give more of myself to them, I want to experience plenty of good times and to be good to myself, I want to always learn something new and I want to be fit and healthy.

I may be too young to be thinking of time in such a way, or I might not be. Perhaps we all should be re-evaluating our lives and how we spend our time.

I don't ever feel my time is wasted per se and I often wish time away so it could be the end of the year so I can get away to overseas.... I don't have a problem with that really, but in the times in between I don't want shit to enter my life, because I think my life is too good for that. Of course I want the lows as well, I want to feel the pain of love and passion, that is part of a life of quality thats not shit... because it helps you grow and feel.

Shit is the stuff that doesn't mean anything. It brings you down and just clutters your life. Its the people who dont care and that you can live without, the job that makes you resentful, the crappy food which will only impact upon your thighs, the idiot tv shows that actually make you dumber...

Awakening Global Action

I need a job. Unemployment, though quite relaxing and leaves me a life of recreation... it is a cheap ass life of leisure and I need the funds to start rolling in. I am an asset to any company/business... I repeatedly tell myself this. Bleh.

Ive spent the past few weekends infront of the computer, due to lack of money and because I just haven't felt like being social. I'm not unhappy, just discontent. A few things have left me feeling unsatisfied, slightly resentful and a little lonely... a combo that isn't so ideal, but its okay, I'm dealing with it better than perhaps I would have once upon a time.

http://www.baliinstitute.org/aga.html I'm really hoping to be going to this conference in the middle of the year. Only if I'm given the financial support could it viably happen... so I am hoping and wishing. It is a combonation of everything that I feel passionate about, it would be completely a beautiful experience. I just want to be back in Bali, I miss it so much. This would be perfect.

I woke up this morning
felt numb in the face
my heart was strange
but thats common place
I knew it was gonna be a cloudy day

The papers clean
my coffees cold
the cigarettes don't burn
like they use to
and I've been off since you left that day

So your forgetting me
like you should
making love to a lady
while im just occupying time
I hate myself
because you went away

Spending lonely nights
listening to Dylans old heart
oh how it can ache
Is it going too far to say
I know his pain

My hearts been strange,
and thats common place.

Its been another cloudy day.

The Greatest

http://www.richardavedon.com/editorial2004/newyorker/catpower.php

Thought this picture deserved another post.

Empty Shell- Cat Power

All that is left

Is an empty shell

All my heart is crushed

I don't ever want to see

What my mind will see

When you loved me

Every night

Every night alone with you

Every night alone now

When she sits on your lap

Try to pretend to laugh

When she does stupid things

Just like I used to do

Do not hate her

Don't you even try

For to leave her

Is to love her

The same as you and I

I love you

And I miss you too

I really do love you

And I really do miss you too

But, I don't love you

And I don't need you

And I don't want you

Anymore

Every night

Every night alone with you

Every night alone now

if i drank
to forget the pain
would that be enough
to forget all of you
if i drank
would that take away my blue
and stop the weight
of two.
if i drank
my blue away
no one else
should feel my pain more
and so if i drowned
bottoms up
down deep
to forget you
would you feel
a little blue
would you need to drown a few
and join me
so i can weigh you down too.

BALI

My Oma's Village

my oma and her rambutan garden

oma's cousin

Traditional Wedding

the priest

ceremony

Lovina

cousin and i

karen- bali style-bintang

Beautiful Liar

-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYT8pdFwkMI


Okay don't hurt me, so I dig Shakira and Beyonce at the moment, aint nothing wrong with that. So the clip is cheesy and typical... basically two women writhing around... but its fun. And seriously what women doesn't want to be able to move like that? I don't know... I like these two ladies, they know their sexual power, they are exotic and beautiful... smart and successful- not to mention have booty and aren't blonde with blue eyes. Think what you will... but for me for some reason it gives me a brief moment of sass and strength in my own female skin. Maybe some kind of strange ironic feminism??

Just getting in the spirit. Beyonce in concert. Dream come true.